Home, Life & Love

Gavin has been back for five days and is home for good. We will never do the long absence thing again.

Seeing him back with his sons, and their joy at their dad’s physical presence, makes me wonder if we paid too high a price to hang onto a house and way of life. They were happy living as a threesome, but the lightness and joy they’re showing now is evidence of what they were missing. It’s like they’ve been holding their breath for two years and have just been given permission to exhale.

It’s been harder for the two of us. Emotional and physical distance brings changes – bonds weaken, ties unravel, balances of power shift in an uncomfortable and painful way. Relationships, ideally, should be fluid, but God knows, there is ease and comfort in stagnation. Getting dragged into a new status quo, especially when you both have to sacrifice important things, is horrible.

But, whatever random cosmic and biological quirks created our family, I value it above all else. The four of us are connected forever with links formed by joy and sorrow, truth and lies, sometimes hate but always, always love.

There are times when it is hard to keep a family together, but there are never times when it is not worth making whatever effort is necessary. For me at least.

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6 Responses to “Home, Life & Love”


  1. 1 Lisa February 11, 2010 at 5:50 pm

    Relationships… tricky when things change, tricky when things don’t. Glad to hear your family is together again, even if it’s requiring the subtle attention and effort that love does…

  2. 3 shoreacres February 12, 2010 at 3:58 am

    Every now and then mom says, “I want to go back to Iowa to live. I want to go home.” It’s code, of course, for “I want things to be like they used to be.” But things never are “the way they used to be”.

    There’s a huge difference between saying, “Things used to be like this. Let’s re-create it”, and saying “Things used to be like this. I wonder what they’ll be like now?”

    I suspect there are adventures ahead 😉

    • 4 Jeannine February 12, 2010 at 7:15 am

      “. . . I wonder what they’ll be like now?. . . ” After a week back together it’s now pretty darned good. Wonderful in fact.

      I guess we’re not in Iowa anymore!

  3. 5 Lis March 20, 2010 at 4:55 pm

    Loved this piece china. Still have a gift for you for your Bif-dy. Love ya
    L

  4. 6 Jeannine March 21, 2010 at 10:46 am

    Thanks babe! I see a glass of wine at EAT in our very near future. . .


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