A Spider in Every Room

I’m all for nature – I obsess about my tortoises, feed the guinea fowl, admire the sun birds. Heck, I even give the hideous sea slugs a post of their own.

But with the pretty and the cuddly comes the ugly. Spiders. I know they have their vital place in the food chain and it’s not their fault they are creepy and repulsive. I just wish they’d stay outside.

As it gets colder the arachnids migrate into the house. There’s an okay-ish one that lives in the dining room behind a picture. He’s discreet, doesn’t make sudden moves and, quite importantly, is not all that hairy.

Dining room dweller.

Kitchen spider is the one that worries me. He’s big (size of a hand), moves very fast, and leaps off the walls like an Olympic long jumper. He insists on curling up into a ball under the toaster, seriously impinging on my very important morning toast and coffee ritual.

I have to remember to prod the toaster with a (long) spatula every morning before inserting my whole wheat slice. This rousts my eight legged enemy and he moves to the corner where he glowers at me as I make my coffee. This is not restful at all.

Curled up after spatula rousting.

Unfurled and glowering.

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4 Responses to “A Spider in Every Room”


  1. 1 oh May 1, 2010 at 6:27 pm

    OK, I feel the same way about spiders, no – not quite the same, because I am meaner. Really, I need to take a page out of your book and not swat them with my shoe or magazine along with the war hopping and holler that comes along with my spider bashing. I can’t help. I’m afriad of them and I’m pretty sure they’re smart and become even smarter once I spy them and will do things like you mention of the one in the kitchen and oh, those lines you wrote of him are hilarious (and rather laudatory) describing his Olympian jumnps! oh, if only I could see them that way, I mgiht back and let them live when they show up. But maybe it’s the difference in my suburban spiders vs. by-the-seaside spiders. Yours have more charm and stories to tell perhaps while mine are all rather looking for non-sharing territory. No, I don’t see them all that often but maybe word has gotten around that a crazy woman wielding a shoe will not let them stay. Of course, I am always willing to make a deal and happiliy show them the door – they just don’t seem to get it.
    I’ll try harder to make peace. But having coffee and toast while one of them lurks, um, kudos to you for your steadfastness.
    And your house sounds AWESOME! I’m serious. In fact, it sounds like the makings of a wonderful book. (Hope you’re “saving/printing” your blogs about it. The one on the shower is great, too.)
    Sigh. A house by the seashore. Just lovely.

  2. 2 Jeannine May 3, 2010 at 10:27 am

    Thanks so much for the kind words oh (blushing modestly)!

    I’m a reformed spider murderer – I’d really like to bash them with a mag but my boys would never forgive me. They usually move them outside using a big glass and a magazine(!). Spider on mag with glass covering them, and release into the garden.

    Problem is that kitchen spider is too quick and leapy, can’t catch the critter.

    An update though, he has disappeared from the kitchen. Now, I’m not sure what is worse, a big ugly spider that watches you malevolently, or a big ugly spider MIA somewhere in the house. . .

  3. 3 shoreacres May 7, 2010 at 4:34 am

    Big ugly spider MIA somewhere in the house – clearly worse 🙂

    We have jumping spiders all over, but they’re about the size of a fingernail, black and white with eyes on sort of stalks, and the kind of attentiveness I associate with ax murderers. I don’t think they hurt a thing, but they’re so unpredictable they can be nerve-wracking.

    We also have nasty little flesh-destroying things that like to hide where you can’t see them. Brown recluse comes to mind. Got bit by one of those once and it wasn’t good – couldn’t walk within four hours, red streaks up leg, having to go down stairs on my bum to get to the car to go to the hospital, etc.etc. No fun.

    I can whack them if I think they’re dangerous. But the little ones that live around the house – well, shoot. I’ve had one living in the corner of the desk above my computer for a couple months. I figure if he wants to set up housekeeping, I can spare him that six cubic inches. Some day I’ll actually do some housecleaning, though, and then he might have to go….

    • 4 Jeannine May 9, 2010 at 8:39 am

      Lordy, that bum crawl bite sounds horrendous. Anything that does that deserves to get whacked, killed with guilt-free abandon.

      We don’t seem to have any poisonous ones around, they’re all ugly but benign.

      And, you are right, MIA is much worse.


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