The Tale of Bird Bait and Die Soon

We have a small pond in the garden, filled with tadpoles and frogs. Gavin (a bit city-ish after two years in Abu Dhabi) thought it would be fun to add a couple of koi to the mix. The boys and I, more in tune with the vicious food chain that is the coastal garden, were not so sure.

Doubts aside, we set off to the nursery and bought two small fish – one bright golden orange, and the other inky black. Gavin magnanimously allowed the boys to name them. Orange was Die Soon and black was Bird Bait. Gavin also bought an extremely large jar of fish food. After 20 years together, I have finally learnt that sometimes it’s best just to say nothing.

Die Soon lived up to his moniker and was taken by the local Kingfisher after a pleasant week wafting around the pond. Bird Bait, better camouflaged and less flashy, had two more days of eating frogs’ eggs and mosquito larvae before departing to fishy heaven.

The large jar of fish food? It’s prominently placed in the pantry. After 20 years together, sometimes you just don’t have to say anything.

So many pellets, no little fish. . .

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13 Responses to “The Tale of Bird Bait and Die Soon”


  1. 1 Ben July 28, 2010 at 8:04 am

    Love the names!

  2. 3 Ben July 28, 2010 at 8:08 am

    My Folks had the same problem! Use some Chicken wire to cover it. You can hardly see it

  3. 5 china July 28, 2010 at 12:46 pm

    You are a total nutcase babe!! i had a good chuckle with this one – no doubt helped along by the two yummy glasses of wine we just shared. Stay joyful – L

  4. 7 oh July 28, 2010 at 1:00 pm

    Ha! Part of me laughs right out loud, mostly about the fish food. The other part of me is appropriately sad for the fish, but there’s something so Huck Finn about the whole thing – they gotta try it out, plunking down those purchased fish in the midst of growling Nature to see what happens next…

    Keep us posted on their next “adventure!”

    • 8 Jeannine July 28, 2010 at 1:27 pm

      Hi oh!! I thought the post might seem a tad callous – but they were hothouse flowers in the bushveld. Poor things.

      A garden is so superficially lovely, but underneath the blooms and the singing birds it’s a killing fields. Very David Lynch Blue Velvetish!

  5. 9 shoreacres July 28, 2010 at 1:26 pm

    Once upon a time, in a pool made by damming a Texas Hill Country stream, the same good idea was attempted.

    Raccoons smile very, very broadly when they discover someone’s set the table and expanded the menu!

    Methinks those boys have a solid view of life – realistic, good-humored and capable of making reasonable judgements. Like, Dad’s a little off on this one…

    Given what the boys appear to have expected, I suppose you should be grateful they didn’t want to name the fish “Dad” and “Mom”.

  6. 10 Jeannine July 28, 2010 at 2:37 pm

    Bwhahahahahah! Yes, we should be grateful, probably that time will come in the teenage years.
    You, like me, are a pragmatist. Somehow whenever I picture you I see a Southern woman, very much iron fist in velvet glove! Not sure why.

  7. 11 oh July 30, 2010 at 1:34 am

    J, You’re not going to believe this – it’s so “un-green” but I’m wearing a sweater and socks in my house. Yes, it’s true, while it’s 95 degrees (farenheit) and lovely outdoors.

    That’s right – I live with Mr. Freeze, who likes it cool. Way cool. I honor that, I get it, but sheesh, a sweater (sometimes a hoodie) in the house in the summer?
    Come on over. This midwest summer heat will get that winter chill out of you. We’ll sit outdoors and enjoy the (rather warm) fresh air!

    • 12 Jeannine July 30, 2010 at 11:06 am

      Lucky, lucky, lucky oh! Can just picture you lounging at the pool sipping a cocktail. . . . would love to join you.
      Summertime. And the living is easy. Your husbands rich (to pay for all that air con ;)) and you’re good looking. . . . .

  8. 13 oh July 30, 2010 at 11:23 pm

    LOL! (great song, that “summertime.”)


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